Le Morte de Merlin
by MauditBelle
Summary: Just a one-shot inspired by a tumblr post. Rated T for strong suicidal themes and actions. Lots of heartbreak and character death (You've been warned!) Merlin thinks he has nothing left to live for so what's the point? Please read and review


_**This was inspired by something I saw on tumblr the other day. I don't have the link though, sorry :( I warn you now, this could be a triggering piece for some people. (Suicidal theme) Please leave a review, let me know what you think of it.**_

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Merlin had been travelling Camelot for nearly a year now. Just him, his horse and the Kingdom he and his best friend built. Arthur... The very name had haunted him all his life since the great king was slain by a once trusted knight.

He made camp later that night in the forest of Merendra, the place which his father had once called home. Balinor...my father...dead. The place brought floods of painful memories back to him. The moment he discovered his true parentage, meeting his father for the first time, finally filling that hole that had been in his heart for as long as he could remember.

As he looked back on his life, tears swelled in his eyes. All he did was for Arthur, for Gaius, for Gwen, for Freya, for the knights, for Camelot. Everything was over now. Queen Guinevere's death was exactly 2 years ago. She had lived a long life with her twin sons Arthur and Tom and now Tom was taking his rightful place upon the throne of Camelot with his brother ruling at his side.

But they were all gone now: everyone he had cared about was dead while he suffered life.

The lake of Avalon was just half a day's ride ahead. There he would be united with his best friend forever. Nothing could separate the dead from one another and nothing could intervene with their peaceful eternal rest.

Before dawn Merlin had packed his few remaining belongings and was on his way once again. It was a dark day, the sun slowly rising as it battled the elements. He thought it seemed fitting, given his plans for that day.

Merlin could see the Lake of Avalon in a clearing through the trees, its beautiful water reflecting the few silvery rays of sunlight, making a path to where Merlin's horse stood. There it was: the burial site of his friends. Where he would finally meet death.

For some reason the Lake of Avalon had always reminded him of his mother, Hunith. Probably because of its beauty that nature and the time could never seem to destroy. The lake had scarcely changed at all since he first saw it about 70 years ago.

Merlin unsaddled his horse, tossed it to one side then whispered in the horse's ear "Go, be free," He cast an enchantment on the horse to lead it away so it could continue a life of liberation and peace. Merlin's horse that been loyal to him since it was just a foal turned and galloped back through the forest holding its head high all the way.

Merlin slowly approached the lake, each step radiating a clear purpose. He reached the edge of the water when the tears finally fell free of his eyes. As he continued to walk deeper and deeper into the lake, he began to cry uncontrollably and his whole body was overcome by heartbreaking sobs.

The water was just up to Merlin's chin now. Just a few more steps utentil all his worries would be a thing of the past. Until all his grief would flee from his body. Until all his suffering would end. Merlin submerged his head under the water and closed his eyes. His throat became tighter, desperate to jump up for air. No, he told those desires. He had to stay strong. He wouldn't fail anymore.

Merlin could feel his eyelids fluttering then finally closing for good as his body began its complex system of shutting down. This is it, he thought, Goodbye...

He was hit by the now familiar feeling of slipping into the blackness of death. Please let this work, this final time, Merlin was so alone in life but he hadn't been able to escape so far. Somehow, he always woke up the next day on the shore.

"Stay strong, don't give up. Someone out there still cares about you," Merlin heard Arthur's voice echo through his mind.

"But who?" he whispered back into the air. It was hopeless. No one wanted him around when he was alive but no one would let him die. He was living a nightmare.

"Merlin..." No, it couldn't be. He had not heard that voice in decades, but there was only one person alive who it could be: Kilgharrah.

Merlin looked up at the sky, squinting through his tears, to see the great dragon swooping down and landing next to him. "Come, young Warlock. It is not yet the end. Arthur is the Once and Future King. Did I not tell you that when Albion's need is at its greatest, Arthur would rise again? Have faith, Merlin. Be there to guide him on his return,"

Kilgharrah picked up Merlin's body in his long claws and took off once more. They wouldn't be so alone now. Albion would need them again one day...

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_**What was it like? I was in a really depressed mood when I wrote this so yeah :/ Please review!**_


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